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Experimental Subject No. 874

Filth! Pure absolute filth!

Filth filled in her lungs as she hurried by the train station. Why was she here? Wrapped up in a flower patterned blanket, a breathing mask on her face. The same monster kept flashing before her eyes the one with sharp teeth and saliva dripping under it’s chin, she couldn’t even tell what color it was, she knew it was the same image purely from the unaltered sense of terror that overwhelmed her every time it appeared.

The mild wind wrapped softly around her like a second blanket, the tiny droplets of rain occasionally pinpricked her face. She had an image of herself being cushioned in a ball of cotton with the occasional needle gently poking her face. She felt comfortable but irritated, nothing was ever to be perfect.

Streets were covered with bits of trash that were engaged in a perpetual dance with the wind as the only tune. Swaying back and forth, bereft of all meaning and purpose.  She thought of the place she came from, she thought of all her old acquaintances, they appeared in front of her like tiny scabs lined up to get a taste of her blood. She closed her eyes and let them crawl on her skin, this she thought could not be worse  than isolation. She had been without a lover for longer than she can remember and she felt a longing to be touched.

Her reflections on her past came to an abrupt end as she realized that she arrived to her destination. She was standing in front of an apartment block, drenched in smoke.  A camera hanging from above the door recognized her features  and the bolts of the door loosened to let her in.

The outside appearance of the building was doing a great job of hiding it’s actual purpose. Inside men and women in red overalls ran up and down, their faces concealed in red masks.

The stubby lady behind the door was dressed differently. She had an impeccable white shirt and was sporting a fake pearl necklace. She wore a knee length gray skirt and a pair of high heels to match it. With a lovely reassuring smile on her face she said “welcome, we have been expecting you.” She took off the blanket form her shoulders and the breathing mask from her face. “Let’s get you nice and comfortable shall we”. They walked along a corridor where identical stubby women led strangers into identical offices. The strangers didn’t seem to have anything in common some were ragged, some well dressed, some young, some old and from just about every ethnicity under the sun. Given that were walking in and out of identical offices, led around by identical women, it was small wonder that they all avoided each other.

The room was quite spacious and pleasant for an office space without windows.  The walls were covered with framed posters advertising the institute most of them had short easy slogans like ‘Make your life count’ or  ’Wait! Let us help you’.

“Right…” the stubby lady flipped through some papers in a folder she was holding:
-”Miss… Cloud?”.
-”That’s me”
-”Perfect! Tea?”
-”No, thank you”
-”Straight to business then? Fan-tastic… I assume you have completed the required paperwork”
-”Yes I have, here is my consent form, from next of kin. I wasn’t aware that my father had moved into another apartment, so I had to cross out the address and write it anew.
-”Oh that’s alright, it’s the least of the problems we have with the ‘parental consent’ forms!”
She ended that sentence with a chuckle that sounded like a choking chicken. Her eyes met Miss Cloud’s and she suddenly realized she wasn’t gossiping with a colleague but addressing a ‘patient’. Miss Cloud was just as impartial to the the joke itself as to the purse lipped apologetic face which followed it.
-”Just put your signature next to the part you wrote anew and it should be alright”
She reached back for the form and signed the appropriate place. She pulled out more bounded papers form the folder she was carrying.
-”Here are my medical check up results, My full psychological profile, copy of my identity card, 6 mug shots and my letter of resignation from my work. I believe there is nothing else left then?”
-”That’s right Miss Cloud”
She collected the forms and organized them neatly within ring binder. It didn’t take exceptional observation skills on Miss Cloud’s part to notice that she was taking great pleasure in organizing paper work. The stubby woman had the expression of a little girl playing house with dressed up dolls on her face. She attached the photographs to documents, stamped them with several different stamps, signed some and stapled them together to put back into the ring binder. Not before holding each stapled stack of paper up and admiring it. Miss Cloud had no rush, besides she found the stubby woman’s sense of satisfaction fascinating to watch, she half expected her to ask the ring binder how ‘her’ day was and kiss it goodnight before gently placing it in on the shelf.

The stubby woman came out of what appeared to be some kind of trance, turned around to Miss Cloud with a large grin on her face: “I believe you have already made your payment in advance?”
-”That’s correct”

The stubby woman was filled with joy. “Let’s go then!”
They exited the office and walked back along the corridor to an elevator. The stubby woman pressed the call button.
-”The institute would like to thank you for coming to us to assist your suicide. If only more people had your judgement the world would be a much better place”
Miss Cloud wasn’t exactly flattered. She was promised that her life and thus her death would acquire purpose if she were to conduct her suicide through the institute and she was already feeling halfway accomplished.

The elevator’s door opened, the stubby lady pulled her body to the side to make sure she is not obstructing the way. She punched in some numbers to the terminal outside the elevator, lift up her head with a smile: “Goodbye Miss Cloud”.

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