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Lover, there is no other


Imagine the following: you wake up butt naked in an apartment you don’t recognize with a woman who has more in common with a root vegetable than any human being you can think of.

You drag yourself over to the bathroom in a state of indefinitely postponed collapse hoping that you will be able to find your clothes as memories of the night before projects in brief flashes before your barely open eyelids.

As the image clears you remember mumbling the name of your childhood sweetheart to her ears as pieces of  limp, intoxicated flesh flap against each other with lifeless mechanical motion.

It’s alright, she never said ‘no’.

As you make your way out undetected you can’t resist the urge to call your best mate.

“Mate, I pulled the hottest bird ever last night! She was well dirty innit!”

You charming little devil you! You lady killer you!

Kind Regards,

Uncle Joe

One Response to “Lover, there is no other”

  • R. Torrents Says:

    …left me with a sick feeling in my gut. Great post. Describes the pointlessness of the one night stand to perfection.

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